May 16th is Wear Purple for Peace Day.
And if you're sitting across from a divorcing couple—or rather, a person deciding whether to leave a marriage that's been broken for years—they're looking for peace.
But here's what most attorneys miss: peace doesn't look the same to everyone.
The Purple Problem
Purple is the symbol. The universal marker of peace. Wear it. Celebrate it. Solidarity.
Except—and I'm just going to say it—purple isn't my color.
Never has been.
Lavender, though? Lavender works.
Different shade. Same family. But completely different on me.
That's not a fashion complaint. That's the whole point.
Peace is like that.
What brings peace to one person brings absolute chaos to another.
What feels like freedom to one spouse feels like abandonment to the other.
What one client sees as "protecting the kids" another client sees as "controlling everything."
What one family needs to move forward is the exact opposite of what another family needs.
Why This Matters for Your Positioning
You're trained to think in terms of solutions. Settlements. Division of assets. Custody arrangements. But your client isn't actually looking for a settlement.
They're looking for their version of peace.
And if you're offering them the same "settlement peace" you offer everyone else, you're not delivering what they actually need. You're delivering generic purple to someone who needs lavender.
The attorneys who win aren't the ones with the most aggressive strategies or the cleverest tactics.
They're the ones who ask: What does peace look like to you?
Because the answer is different for every single person who walks through your door.
The Insight That Changes Everything
One client's peace is financial security—knowing their kids' future is protected.
Another client's peace is minimal contact with their ex—the less interaction, the more they can breathe.
Another client's peace is staying in the house—stability matters more than money.
Another client's peace is getting out fast—dragging this out feels worse than any financial loss.
Another client's peace is knowing they "won"—they need to feel like they made the right decision.
You can't deliver all of these with a standard approach.
But when you understand what peace actually means to THIS client—what their specific shade looks like—suddenly you can position yourself as the attorney who delivers exactly that.
What You Can Do Starting Today
Stop leading with your process.
Stop talking about your experience or your track record.
Instead, ask your clients: What does peace actually mean to you?
Listen for the answer.
Then position yourself as the person who will deliver THAT peace—not a generic settlement, not a "good outcome," but their specific version of what moving forward looks like.
Because when someone feels like you understand their definition of peace—when you're not trying to force them into someone else's version—they trust you completely.
And trust is the only thing that actually matters.
Bottom line: You've been assuming peace is peace.
But it's not.
It's purple to one person.
Lavender to another.
The attorneys building practices people actually refer to are the ones who ask what shade their clients need.
Then deliver it.
Everything else is just noise.